Day 13: Friends

1. This post is part of “30 days of Giving Thanks” To read more within this series, click here.

A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.

~ Proverbs 17.17, ESV

Old friends. New friends. Blessings all!

Which has greater importance: the quality or quantity of your friendships?

In our world of social media, there is a tendency to gauge friendships by the number of “followers” or “friends” that are tallied up in your account. I only recently dipped my toes in the Facebook water. Prior to that, I was connected only to a few friends from college and our first home. I’d connect with many friends yearly through Christmas pictures and letters. I was, and still am, especially thankful to those friends who would send me emails, texts or catch-up phone calls even though I “wasn’t on Facebook.”

There were also friends with whom I’d slip in and out of contact. It was as though could hit pause on our movie and when we’d reconnect, we’d hit the play button, picking up exactly where we left off.

A good friend is a valuable treasure—don’t pawn them for lesser things.

I have found that good friends do the following:

Sacrifice.

Our friend Jay gave us the remainder of his security deposit from the rental he’d vacated to help us get a head start after our wedding. For a young bachelor, this was a huge sacrifice. We have never forgotten it. Thanks, Jay!

Our friend, Ida, helped introduce us to whole foods and sent us various things—Celtic sea salt, cod liver oil, and grassfed meat (not cheap stuff by any means)—to help us get going. Thank you, Ida for helping us get started on a good, healthy path.

My college friend, Alissa, gave up valuable study time to help me edit (and rewrite) a 60-page term paper that was part of a group project. She was also there in a flash for me (and all her friends) when we needed someone to confide in. She was, and still is, a loyal friend. Thank you, Alissa for your constant friendship.

Support.

My mom’s best friend, Cheri (who is like a second mother to me) was there for my family when my brother went through a trial due to false charges. I was coming apart at the seams and she and her husband offered to take me out for awhile to relieve the stress. Perceptive. Understanding. Supportive. She also helped coordinate our wedding. Thank you, Cheri!

When we miscarried our first baby, the calls and cards poured in. I thank each of you for your prayers and love.

When we were going through a financially lean period, we needed someone to help us care for our baby while I tried getting my design business off the ground. Thank you, Logan and Julie for your selfless support and care for our child during that rough time.

When I found myself in an Emegency Room, 350 miles from home with a kidney stone, Earle, Mary, Paul and Doris came to keep me company and drive me home safely.

Humor.

Dwight and Cindy, I love how I can talk to you about serious things, godly subjects and I know you will pray for us and care for our well being. Alternately, you are gifted at bringing humor and laughter to so many things. Thank you!

Robb, my friend and brother, thank you for making me laugh even in the darkest times.

Cindi, memories of you and your family still bring a smile to my face. We have so many humorous memories…. Like being passed by the kitchen sink in the way to Vegas. Or you and the kids singing Magical Mister Mistofolees at the top of your lungs.

Encouragement.

My old friend, Cecil who taught me and my family almost every Saturday night for over seven years, encouraging us to dig deeply into the Word. It’s because of him that I’ve gained such a firm foundation in Bible Study.

Brent taught me and my friends to stand firm for truth. We had to reason through things in his classes. We needed to be ready and attentive. He didn’t stand for lame excuses about skipping worship or slack behavior. He was a friend and mentor to us college kids.

Jason, thank you for being my best friend—encouraging me to write and supporting me in all my endeavors from graphic design to orchestra to blogging. You always encourage me to step out and keep going, not allowing me to be paralyzed by fear or insecurity. Your bravery has taught me to be brave.

Defiance.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

~ Proverbs 27.6, ESV

This last point seems counterintuitive, but it’s not. A real friend will be willing to wound you for your own good. They will tell you that you’re wrong or going the wrong way because they love you and want what’s best for you.

I haven’t been confronted often. It’s never pleasant to be in the wrong. I am thankful for friends who were willing to step out on a limb and stop me from making foolish choices.

To all my friends, new and old, thank you for being part of my life. Even if you aren’t mentioned by name here, please know that you are valuable to me. It would take thousands of words to express my gratitude to each of you.