Christian Living

How to Stop the Complaining Contagion

Elihu

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There’s complaining and then there’s senseless complaining.

“Ugh! I missed the light because that dude was on his cell phone! I wish people would stop texting and driving!”

“I am sick and tired of these politicians and their lies”

“I wish it would stop being so hot and windy.”

“I wish it would stop being so cold and wet.”

“Why can’t they pave this path so we don’t have to walk in the mud?!” (in my thick comfortable boots.)

“I don’t have enough clothes!” (As I stare into a full closet)

“Aw, man! My pants have holes.”(As if that’s my only pair…)

“Did you see that chick? Couldn’t she have waited an extra two seconds for me to get in the car? People are so rude.”

“Sigh.”

Complaining is like a virus; if one person starts complaining, the negative sentiments spread like wildfire.

Sometimes it’s called grumbling, muttering, or discontent. Whatever we call it, these grumblings have a way of seeping into the very fabric of our personality. Instead of being the joyful lights God intended us to be, our mutterings make us just as gray and gloomy as the rest of the world.

According to Dr. Travis Bradberry, complaining actually “rewires your brain for negativity.” God made the human body to be highly efficient and the brain is no exception. As Bradberry writes, “When you repeat a behavior, such as complaining, your neurons branch out to each other to ease the flow of information. This makes it much easier to repeat that behavior in the future…your neurons grow closer together and the connections become more permanent.” Bradberry also references a Stanford University study demonstrating that complaining actually shrinks the problem-solving area of your brain known as the hippocampus. (His article is well worth the read! Click here for more.)

Complaining has negative effects on so many levels, so why do we do it? 

Complaining feels good, like eating chocolate cake or lying in the sun. Unfortunately, excessive complaining—like excessive sugar or sunlight—can be quite harmful to your body.

Consider your most recent complaint—let’s say someone cut you off in the parking lot. Is it something you would write your congressman about? Is it something you could change in a positive way? Is it worth the effort and time to create a solution?

If the answer is no to all of those questions, it probably isn’t even worth vocalizing. Vocalizing or venting your feelings can be done with your mouth or with your keyboard. Do not mistake what you post on Facebook, Twitter, or Text Message as a non-complaint just because it didn’t pass your lips.

Note what the Proverb writer says:

A fool vents all his feelings,
But a wise man holds them back.

~ Proverbs 29.11, NKJV, emphasis mine

We often show ourselves wisest in our silence.

November is usually a month centered around this idea of “Thankfulness.” Gratitude is certainly a good weapon against complaining (and one we will certainly cover), but to break a bad habit, we need more than an esoteric idea—we need a strategy. Do you want to change your brain? Do you want your neurons to fire on a more positive level? This is something I want to work on in my own life, and I have spent the past several weeks considering what the scriptures say about complaining and what we can do to fix it.

Join me this month as we cover strategies designed to curb the complaining contagion, brighten our testimony for Christ, and align our hearts and minds with the Spirit.

 

Published by Elihu

Elihu Anderson is a California refugee currently thriving on the West Texas plains. She is the founder of elihuscorner.com and is a contributor to Kirk Cameron's website TheCourage.com. When she isn't writing, reading, or teaching, she is sipping on some iced homemade chai and enjoying time with a good friend. Come by and say hi at elihuscorner.com or visit me on Facebook.com/elihuscorner

33 thoughts on “How to Stop the Complaining Contagion”

    1. Me too! It struck me the other day how bad I had gotten when my eight-year-old said, “You know they can’t hear you, so it doesn’t really help.”

      I realized then that I needed to check myself!!

      Liked by 1 person

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    1. Amen!

      It’s going to be an uphill battle for me as I have an inherently melancholy disposition, but with God all things are possible, especially when we strive to glorify Him! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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  10. Guilty! For me its being critical about things and people which then leads to complaining. It sounds ugly and nothing good can come from it. Great post and call to action. Thanks for posting, I have found this post helpful

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. I am glad I stopped by to read this post. I try not to be a complainer. In fact, I am in the process of stepping back from a close relationship with an individual because she is a complainer. She has a bad word about everybody. I have decided to separate myself from such negativity. Life is too precious and too short.

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. Elihu, Yes and amen! This is why meditating on the Word of God is so powerful. It indeed changes our hearts and minds. When we think upon things that are “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable”, the pathways in our brains are changed to the positive, to the good. (Phil 4:8).
    Thanks for this post.

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    1. Yes! The Word of God indeed has a powerful impact on the heart and mind. Philippians 4.8 is coming soon! Thanks for commenting and sharing this post on Twitter. 😊 God bless you, sister!

      Liked by 1 person

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  14. Very relevant and timely post. Thank you for penning this one, Elihu.
    We live in a culture of constant complaining and whining about even the smallest thing that’s not to our liking. Time to meditate on Romans 12:2.

    Liked by 1 person

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