Marriage and Family

If You’re Going Through A Dark Valley In Your Marriage

Photo by Caleb Ekeroth at Couple Holding Hands

The month of July marked twelve years of marriage for us. This past Tuesday, we cuddled up on the couch to watch the first lesson in The Heart of the Family courseAs we listened to Kirk and Chelsea Cameron talking about their storyit caused me to reflect on our own marriage.

I remember how often we were told, “we wouldn’t make it.”

We were told (while we were dating) we wouldn’t last because we were “so different.”

We were told, “most couples don’t survive the first year.”

We were told we’d fall apart when we hit “the seven-year itch.”

We were told that raising a child with a developmental disorder would likely tear us apart.

We were told that law-enforcement officers endure high rates of divorce.

We were told that an officer-involved shooting decimates most couples.

We were told that his subsequent PTSD and my subsequent depression would likely destroy our marriage.

If God had not been at the center of our marriage—and frankly, the center of both of our hearts—all those dire presentiments would have come true.

Read the rest of this article at

15 thoughts on “If You’re Going Through A Dark Valley In Your Marriage

    1. Thank you for the encouragement, Scott! I am often grateful for the hard times because they keep us from getting complacent. Complacency is often more deadly than trials!

      The Elihu of Job was the inspiration for my nom de plume. Elihu was a man who listened as older men spoke—often incorrectly—about God and when he could no longer contain his frustration with their misrepresentation of God, he spoke up and set the stage for the Lord to speak directly to Job and his three friends. I’ve seen a lot of people mis-speak about God, and my aim is to do what Elihu did—speak up! I’ve been thinking about doing a post on him, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Indeed! I think it’s important to remember daily what He has done; it helps cultivate a heart full of joy and gratitude. Thank you for your comment. God be with you.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Lovely post and great encouragement going into a marriage. So many young people today don’t want to make this commitment because they’re afraid of Losing their own identity. Take it from one who has enjoyed over half a century married to the same man. It was worth it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow! Congratulations. I love hearing about couples who have been married for so long, and it encourages me to keep pressing forward. May the Lord bless you with many more years together.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Elihu, After 27 years of marriage, I can tell you that God is the glue that has held us together. Like you and your husband, we were told we wouldn’t make it. Here’s the thing, we didn’t just make a commitment to each other, we made a covenant with God—and that’s made all the difference.
    Thanks for this wonderful article and the link to Kirk’s much-needed program.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Beckie! I do think it’s important to remember that our covenant is to God first and it really puts the brakes on a Or of things that could potentially crush a marriage. Congrats on 27 years!

      Liked by 1 person

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